Godly Manhood

Wooden bench in a green park

Sermon: Titus 2:1-9

What does healthy doctrine look like when it is lived out, and is it the same for everyone? As DeYoung points out, there are some things that are foundational for everyone, but there are some things that vary along gender lines. So what does it mean to be a man, to be a woman, according to the Bible? Or for another way to ask the question, What is our purpose not just as living beings, but beings that are different in mind and body?

Paul here gives us an overview of what the Christian life looks like lived together, as it has always been intended to be. One scholar put it this way: "Everyone has the role of making God real to someone else. Prayer, praise, instruction, fellowship, and the service of the church do not fulfill their purposes if we do not function corporately and in community. There is always the temptation to privatize and individualize our faith experience." (Chapell, 335). In other words, the Christian life is a family you join, not a product you take home. And as a member of that family, there are expectations of you and burdens to bear that are not interchangeable.

This passage, you will notice, doesn't lay down super specific jobs to do, but rather spheres to prioritize that aren't bound to culture or time. Some characteristics overlap (like all are called to self-control), but they are called to be deployed with certain priorities in mind. In general, men are called to be examples of prudent leadership, and women are called to examples of welcoming hospitality. Both are needed for the family of God and the wider world.

We all need to pay attention. The young need to pay attention to what is called of the old, because that is what we are to strive for (Bray, 501). The old need to know what the young are being told because that is what they need to train them towards. We all need to hold each other accountable to what is learned here in the Spirit of peace.

Men Must be Examples of Prudent Self-Possession

Older Men

We have spoken previously of what elders, in the church office sense, are to be, but what about all the men? All men have a calling to these characteristics. This is what we need from you in all times and all places.

Examples of Sober-Mindedness

Older men are called to be sober-minded, which isn't just not getting drunk, but an approach to life. Scholars looked at this word and determined that it refers to "a man who exercise sound judgment, based on a dispassionate consideration of the facts and circumstances." (Bray, 503). Another way of putting this is to be "self-possessed in all circumstances." This doesn't mean that he is an emotionless robot, but he has emotional control. He isn't going to be easily manipulated because he knows what is right.

This often comes with experience, and is such calming thing to observe. Ever had something go catastrophically wrong, and then an old guy walks up and goes, "Well, here's what we gotta do" and then just does it? Magic! Older men, that's what we need you to be. Retirement isn't the end of your usefulness. There are no "used up" people in the church. You're at the height of this ability. Be willing to share it. Young guys, be willing to listen. Be around to watch it happen.

Examples of Dignity

The second quality called for is "dignified." Yet another scholar looked at this word and noticed that it "hints at the importance of a community's regard and thus implies involvement in others' lives." (Chapell, 327). In other words, if there are things not well in the community, that's our dimension, too. The man Paul envisions isn't just the man in the Church but the man of the polis, the town he lives in. A life lived well to God's glory will be a light to the community. The title "dignified" cannot be demanded but earned from moral living. No matter what sort of job he held, how much money he made, or what physical abilities he has now.

What do we do with this dignity? To hear again from Bray: "the old men are not merely to be upright in themselves but also to act as a steadying influence on the community, bringing their soundness to the aid and service of others." (Bray, 503-4)

Piper speaks about leadership. At it's most basic, it is "acting and speaking so as to create a following towards a goal." The best leadership is clear as to what those goals are, and for the Christian, that is leading a following towards Christ. (Piper, Ask Pastor John, 223). As Christians, our main goal is the worship of Christ. There's a lot of ways to lead people to that, but that is the ultimate goal. That is what we men need to be asking. Am I leading at work and at home in such a way that the worship of Christ is attractive and ultimate? Are we getting personally involved, not just watching from the sidelines.

Examples of Self-Control

The last term in this set is the word "self-controlled." This is a key term because it is required of every age group in this chapter. So if you tuned out for what older men should be, tune in here. You have to mirror this category both now and in the future. There is some overlap with the concept of sober-mindedness in this one definition: "Prudence is a necessary element of a love that maintains the tension between commitment and reflective distance."(Verbrugge). In other words, doing what is right for the person right in front of you at this time. It requires a lot of wisdom which, as another scholar points out "does not come naturally but that can be learned by precept and example," (Bray, 509). The best way to learn this is by watching how others go about it, listening when they tell you how. They probably won this wisdom after many knocks to the head. You can learn it in fewer hits.

Perhaps the reason why this concept is called on for everyone is that one is best able to receive this gift from others. Obedience to this chapter by all parties is the best way to pass it on. We need those who got it from the previous generation to pass it on to us. And we need to graciously and humbly receive it and then implement it.

How are these characteristics possible?

Finally, they do all of this because they were sound (or healthy) in faith, love, and steadfastness. Once scholar points out that these three are likely the foundations for the rest of the characteristics (Chapell, 328). We see this list show up in 1 Corinthians 13, don't we? Faith, hope, and love.

Faith is used here in the sense of trust (Knight III). The strength that these men possess is not born out of their own accomplishments or competencies, but the care of Christ. It's like being confident in a bridge that you have commuted over for decades. You aren't trusting your driving skills, you are trusting the bridge. While others who have less experience might tense up going over a high bridge, a man of faith can enjoy the view. That comes from knowing the abilities of the bridge. And in the same way, the man who knows and trusts Christ can be sober-minded, dignified, and self-controlled going over the rushing rivers of life.

Hope and love are key to this as well. Hope: We aren't trusting in a dream but an unbreakable promise from God Himself. We aren't driving over the bridge to the same thing we left. We are driving to paradise. Love: We aren't driving alone. We are wanting to bring as many along as we can. We aren't just in it for ourselves, but are motivated by a genuine love for God's people that only manifests in intentional action.

What might that look like? One of my old seminary professors, Dr. Bray put it like this, "Few people really admire those who succeed them in a job, and the temptation to be critical of them can sometimes be overwhelming. Letting others make their own mistakes and learn from them is not easy, and it is not unknown for fathers to dismiss their own sons as 'useless,' because they have not mastered something that to the old man seems straightforward and obvious. Just as faith has to be demonstrated in love, so love can only mature if it is patient and kind, as Paul reminded the Corinthians." (Bray, 504)

I remember Kevin De Young talking about this at a pastor's conference I went to this past March. I saw Kevin's star rising when I was in middle school as this young scholar was popping up more and more online. To hear him speak about that was interesting. He was saying how when you are on the way up it is humbling as you receive praise from above. And it is still good when you see people your age doing great things. But then, people younger than you start doing good things. In fact, they begin doing things better than you did. In fact, they are doing things better than you are doing! And that is the real test of one's love, faith, and hope for the next generation.

Far from seeing that as a threat, it should be seen as a sign of a job well done by the previous generation. We live in such an individualized culture, we assume that the young aren't looking up to us, but they are. I always have. They intentionally invested in me. The one's that I admired had me around their breakfast tables, their woodshops, yes, their gun ranges, and blessedly for me, in my childhood home.

So, old guys, we need you. I know, you're tired. You have every reason to be. But the journey isn't over for you.

Young Men

Young guys. That's your example. And for you guys in this church specifically, you must recognize the embarrassment of riches we have in this church. We are packed to the walls with men worthy of imitation here. Don't take that for granted. That's not everywhere. In many places they don't even come. Please don't think that I am the only one to listen to here. I speak God's Word, but these men have lived it. Old guys, invite them. Young men, figure out your schedule to spend time with them. They aren't here to replace your dad, but supplement him. Your turn is coming. It's coming where men begin to look to you. What will you say to them? How will you live? Look to them.

Maybe the reason why we have a hard time defining what Biblical Manhood is results from it being not so much defined as demonstrated. I think the way Titus looks at Manhood is being able to point to a person and say, "It looks like that."

Maybe you are sitting here and thinking, "Yikes, that really doesn't apply to me. I wasted my life. I did it all wrong." Maybe you did. But you can be honest about that. And you know what? What these guys who made better choices are going to do is point beyond themselves to the ultimate Man: The God-Man, Jesus. To borrow an illustration from Ray Comfort, men are like the moon. We are dirt that God has exalted, and any light that comes from the moon is a reflection of the sun. Anything special about these men comes from another source.

Application

Guys, that's what it means to be a man. Become that. Follow that. You can't become that from a hermit hole. Come on out. Let's see what God has created you to be. Observe how he has made others. Take them to lunch. Ask how God made them this way. We can only do this together.

Old guys, don't let yourselves go. There are a lot of moral and mental qualifications here, and you need to have a body to make those things possible. Take care how you eat, how you are active, listen to your wife and go to the doctor. We need you here.

Men, stay close to Jesus. One can achieve dignity and then lose it due to lack of self-control. Keep your eyes on him, and help others keep focused, too.

May you future men here build glorious cathedrals on the foundations we lay, by the Spirit's power, with our lives!