How Can We Clear Ourselves?
Person holding smudgy glasses in the sunset
Photo by Ed Leszczynskl on Unsplash
In a day and age with GPS, I’ve grown so used to it that using verbal directions given by someone else spikes my anxiety. You know those directions: keep going until you see the hot dog place, turn right at the gas station, and it’ll be the big building on your right. Can’t miss it (yes, I can)! If you see the grocery store you’ve gone too far! The longer I drive without seeing the hot dog place, the unrest in my soul grows steadily. But then! The joy when I see the landmark, just as my guide said, comfort floods my soul; I’m on the right track.
How do you know you are on the right track with your Christian life? What are the landmarks that indicate you are indeed on the road of salvation? How do you know the faith you have in Christ is a real faith that is having an impact on your life? While there will be peaks and valleys, good days and bad days, looking at the whole of your life, do you see evidence of repentance from sin? Are you turning from sin to Christ?
We saw Joseph not sin but what if you’re more like Judah?
The passage that is before us gives us a remarkable demonstration of what it looks like to have repented. We will look at the person of Judah and see the remarkable change that has occurred in his life, and what we can expect from our own.
Today we will see that Repentance requires you to change what you love and how you live.
Repentance requires you to change what you love and how you live.
Chapter 43:31-34
We pick up briefly looking at the last chapter, as Joseph begins the final test the night before chapter 44. They have been seated by age, but not portioned food by age. Usually, the oldest gets the honor, but this time it is the youngest. Benjamin gets five times as much food as everyone else does. It isn’t because he is a growing boy, as you couldn’t expect him to actually eat that much (I mean, *I* could eat five burgers, but that’s probably an area I need repenting in!). It was to show, in a very public way, who the favorite is. And in chapter 43, we don’t see any evidence of jealousy at this point. Despite the wine flowing freely, no jealousy comes out. We know, as Paul Tripp’s mother said, nothing comes out of the mouth of a drunk that wasn’t already there to begin with, so things are looking good so far.
Chapter 44:1-13
The real test starts in chapter 44. Joseph sets things up to put the brothers in the same position as chapter 37 when they sold him into slavery. Favored son of Rachel? Check. Financial reward for selling him out? Check. It is even a more ramped up version on their end, for as Matthews points out, they can claim total innocence in this matter. They can’t control what the Egyptian prince does. If there is ANY desire to get rid of Ben, this is their moment.
The steward arrives, the accusation is made, the brothers are so sure of their innocence, that they will call death on the thief, and slavery for the rest if that cup is found. This shows us a couple things. One, the brothers are so confident in each other that even a little tipsy, they wouldn’t steal a cup. A big change from when they would sell their own brother for twenty pieces of silver. They are so confident in the change, they will make a brash oath like that. One scholar points out, that even the rash punishment they call down on themselves shows that they view each other as a unified group. If one goes down, they all go down together (Matthews). He also points out how they react when the cup is discovered: they tear their clothes! Only Reuben and Jacob did that when Joseph was gone. Now, they all grieve deeply that Benjamin might be held back in slavery (Matthews). Change has taken place.
Chapter 44:14-20
The most dramatic change however shows in Judah. When they all return to face Joseph, he is the spokesman for the group. The brother that abandoned the family in chapter 38 is now its leader. When Joseph offers to keep just Ben, Judah steps forward to plead with Joseph to let Ben go.
Note how he goes about this. He doesn’t try in any way to defend. There really isn’t any point in trying. The question is so clear: “How can we clear ourselves?” and says more than Judah thinks Joseph knows. For the situation at hand, the evidence is impossible to escape. But that isn’t what Judah is admitting to here. He knows his actual guilt is selling Joseph, and he has never had to face punishment for it. He knows he didn’t steal the cup, but he figures that God is the one who put it in there, so he can finally face justice for Joseph. The word used there “clear” is the word for righteousness. Last time Judah spoke that word was when Tamar, his pregnant daughter in law, showed him his cord and his staff. He said, “She is more righteous than I.” He admitted he was a sinner then, and now he throws up his hands again at the impossibility of coming out of this situation righteous. It doesn’t look like it with the cup, and he is certainly a guilty man when it comes to Joseph. Judah thinks the man in front of him is unaware of what he is referring to, but this Egyptian prince knows exactly what Judah is carrying on his heart (Matthews).
Chapter 44:21-32
Judah gives the longest sustained speech in all of Genesis to review all that has lead to this moment (Matthews). Notice how everything is about his dad. He paints the picture of how much Jacob loves Ben, which sets us up for the final moment, what we have been waiting this whole series to hear. Is Judah going to live up to the pledge that he said back in Canaan. Did he have good intentions but at the last moment will fail when courage is needed most? When the chips are down, what will he do? Will he sell his brother again?
Chapter 44:33-34
The camera zooms in on Judah’s face as the orchestra runs up the chromatic scale stopping at the critical moment: He offers himself up for Benjamin. He knows what this means. He has twins at home. He will not see his father’s face, a face he has obviously grown to love. He will be leaving the family again to live with foreigners, outside the promised covenant of God, again, but this time not to pursue a forbidden woman, but to save the life of Benjamin and by extension his father. He has done his father’s will. He has fulfilled his pledge. He has demonstrated full repentance, and, though he won’t find out until the next chapter, been forgiven.
This story is a beautiful picture of repentance. His actions are fully changed. He is not the same person he was before. The human trafficker is now willing to sell himself into slavery. How does such a change happen? It happens at the heart level.
Do you notice how much he has changed towards his father? He, along with everyone else, watched his father tear his clothes and refuse to be comforted. He didn’t fall to his knees saying, “What have I done,” and speed off to go track Joseph down. He simply went off and spent that money. Sure, after a number of years, things are obviously different, but Joseph would have been so far away by that point, the assumption of death is just as likely. Judah is a changed man to not make such a mistake again, because he loves his father. The father that didn’t love him, is still loved by Judah. That is what motivates such action.
We see this change most deeply in the question, “How can I go back?” in that last verse. Is that not what Joseph himself said when faced with temptation? Joseph’s loyalties were already decided, and now we can clearly see where Judah’s loyalties are as well.
So what does this have to do with our repentance? Repentance begins in the heart. It doesn’t stop there, but it must begin there. If you try to repent of your sin without having a love for Christ, you are fighting an uphill battle. If you are still saying, “Why would I do that sin?” it isn’t long before you will be saying, “Why not?” If you have to argue the various reasons why you shouldn’t commit that sin again, “I’ll feel guilty” “I’ll get caught,” your loyalty is still wavering. When the question is “How could I,” your heart is being changed.
This isn’t an instant process or particularly systematic one. You can find total victory in one sin that will be at the level of, “How could I even consider that?” and there will be others at the same time, that you would say, “Why not?” The key to repentance is having your heart changed. The things that you love, your affections must be changed, and that is a work of God.
Repentance and faith are two sides of the coin where a turning to Christ is a turning from sin and this is both an event and a process. There is that point at your conversion where you see your sin and the grace that is offered to you in Jesus. Jesus, even better than Judah, offers Himself for your freedom, not just to be enslaved but to die on your behalf. You respond to that beauty and come to Christ, leaning the whole weight of your hope on Him and abandoning your love for sin. There is that initial moment of repentance and faith. And then there is the ongoing process. While you don’t get saved or convert over and over again, you continue the process of trusting Jesus more and warring against your sin more throughout your life.
It is like throwing a rock into a pond. When you throw the rock in, it is in the pond, but the ripples of that rock continue to expand more and more into the pond. You don’t have to throw the rock again and again in for each ripple, but as time goes on more and more of the pond is affected by that one time event. When it first goes in, the outer edges of the pond are still, but that doesn’t mean the rock isn’t in there.
Repentance is the work that God does inside your heart, which is why our catechism calls it a saving grace. It isn’t a work you do. It is a gift you receive.
Now, how quickly that gift changes you depends on how much you fight. If you take your battles against sin seriously, you will use all the weapons that God has given you for that fight. You will run to your prayers, you will dive into His Word, you will attend the worship with His people, you will take seriously the Lord’s supper we are about to receive. These are given to you for your growth, so you can’t be surprised when you ignore these things and don’t grow. You don’t lose salvation, but you can sure lose your joy. And if it persists long enough, you may prove that you never had salvation in the first place.
But if you grab hold of what you have been given, making use, consistently of these means, you will see deeper change and will be rewarded with greater assurance that you are His.
Maybe you are here today feeling deeply unworthy of that grace. Look to the example of Peter. He denies Christ three times, yet is given the chance to repent by confessing his love three times to Jesus. Now, that rather minimal display is not what restored him, but the grace that He found in Christ. Jesus says, “You follow me.” Those words are spoken to you today. Do you love Christ? Do you want to? Do you want to want to? Ask for His help. Pray, “Lord, I believe, help my unbelief,” and follow after him. Repentance and faith is the rhythm of Christianity, a process that will only be completed in heaven, when we all sit at Christ’s table.
This is a wonderful moment we have here. The brothers in our passage ate with Joseph but not at the same table. It was a picture of a full restoration yet to come. At this meal, we dine with Jesus by faith, looking forward to the day when we will see Him in glory.
So where do we go from here? Find your change from the source: loving Jesus. Kids, do you want to get along better with your siblings? Adults, do you need to ramp up the fight with your sin? Spend more time in prayer and in God’s Word. Fall deeper in love with Jesus, and your actions will show.