1 Peter 4:7-10
For the last couple of years around mid October, Abby has shown me this video of a woman staring into the camera saying, "The ballerinas are rehearsing for the Nutcracker, that means your year is over." And she's exactly right. Once the Sugar Plum fairy has been decided the rest of the year is run at double speed, finishing one party only to feel behind on the fundraiser, and if you haven't solidified all of your plans back in September of last year, you are doomed to rushed plans, half-baked cookies, and going trick or treating in whatever costume was still left on the shelf (probably a cat or Olaf). It is difficult to enter into this season of the year without a sense of panic that the year is coming to an end, and in an election year there is an additional sense of panic that maybe the country is coming to an end, too, and that's only if you can get past all the AI news which tells you that there is possibly a 10% chance that the WORLD is coming to an end (or at the very least Europe).
So how do we get to the end of the year without cowering in a corner, breathing into a paper bag?
Peter tells us.
Peter is writing to a group of people whom he refers to as exiles. They have been scattered all over the place due to persecution. This small, disconnected group of people are going up against their Jewish communities who have disowned them, a Roman Empire who could crush them at their whim, and the last thing that they heard from Jesus is that He is going to return soon and bring the final judgment of the whole world with Him! How shall you then live?
Peter tells them, "The end of all things is at hand; therefore be self-controlled and sober-minded for the sake of your prayers. Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace:"
It's remarkably simple. It's how we are supposed to live our lives throughout the year, but I think this will prove to be especially helpful to be reminded of it at the conclusion of this year.
We have already covered being self-controlled in our Titus series, so I am going to jump ahead to the last three things that he covers, only one of which we will cover today, love.
Today we will look at love as Christ's call to us to forgive our neighbors
This is the word that we know as a constant love. Peter uses the word "earnestly" to describe a love that is constant. This isn't a love that is here while things are easy but precisely when they are not.
Today, we don't really know what love is. In the mouths of politicians, Love is...love. This clever "definition" is no definition at all, and instead lets you feel what that means. The pundits have seen this and said, "Love isn't an emotion, or warm fuzzy feeling; it's an action, a choice." That is nearer the truth but not as helpful as we think.
If I walk up to a building crew and say, "Building is not a feeling; it's an action. Get to it!" The next question they will ask is, "Well, what are we building?" It turns out saying, "Love is an action" without any guidance as to what that action is aiming for leaves the pundit's definition just as vague as the politician's.
Love isn't a feeling, nor is it really a choice, but a call. My preaching professor, Dr. Webster put it this way, "WE are to love our children, coworkers, neighbors, and strangers, not because we have chosen to love them, but because Christ calls us to love them." (124, Outposts of Hope). Do you see the difference there? It isn't even my decision that makes loving them possible, it is Christ's calling.
So what is Peter's aim of love? In this passage at least, it is the covering a multitude of sins. This is a gorgeously practical summary of what love is aiming for when it truly counts. It is easy to be patient and kind, not envy or boast when others are doing the same. Thanksgiving dinner is an easy and pleasant experience when everyone is passing the gravy and the complements to you and your life choices. But what does love do when it is sinned against? When the dinner conversation is a chorus alternating between clinking of forks and snide comments?
We will talk through some step by steps later, but let's really look closely at Peter's aim for love, covering sin.
The word that Peter uses here for covering is exactly the sort of word we would use to mean wrapping a present. We are covering up the gift so you can't see it! In the same way, Peter is telling us to use our love to conceal a person's sin.
Now, immediately, we can see how this might be misunderstood. We might think that Peter is telling us to give safe haven for sin! In other words, knowing that someone is doing something wrong, is harming you, them, or someone else, but thinking the loving thing to do is to hush it up, don't let others know. That's not what Peter is saying here. We know that because just a few verses earlier, Peter is telling us not to live in sin! Allowing people to sin in grievous ways when it is in your direct power to bring it to a stop with proper exposure, is itself sin. Ephesians 5:11 "Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them." Paul writing about love in 1 Cor. 13:6 tells us, "it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth." It is never loving to let someone continue a pattern of sin, even to continue a pattern of sin against you.
So when someone genuinely sins against you, confront it to the level it deserves, preferably privately if safe to do so. If it is in the petty category consider if it has truly risen to the level of needing confrontation.
Now, I've chosen the word "pattern" here carefully because we can go too far the other way with this. While we need to confront sin, this doesn't mean that we become the sin prosecutors, getting in everyone's face over every little thing like it is our full-time job. We are all sinners after all, and we have to live together in such a way that acknowledges that reality. If there is something consistently sinful done, it needs to be confronted. Something that comes up once, small and petty is probably best left alone. One commentator pointed to this as stopping the "downward spiral" of evil in this instance (Carson).
When we are remodeling a room in our house, the builders are expected to keep the place relatively clean. They put down paper to keep muddy boots from tracking all over the carpet. They don't plop their sweaty selves down on your couch. But neither do they set up a shower outside to rinse off and change clothes every time they get a hammer from the truck. Work sites are messy. Interactions between sinful human beings are messy, often messier than we realize.
To sum up, we aren't confronting everything nor letting everything just pass, so what is this, exactly? It is much harder than either of those approaches. It means forgiveness. It is being aware of that person's sin but choosing not to let it define the relationship.
So what does it look like to use love to cover sin properly, let's say at your Thanksgiving table in a few weeks?
I) Approach others with a posture of grace.
As Paul says in 1 Corinthians 13, love endures all things and hopes all things. When we are interacting with people during the holidays we recognize that there is a lot going on in people's lives. There are some gathered around the table who had the worst year of their lives, and they are across from someone else who had the best year of their lives. This doesn't excuse any sin of complaining or boasting but we keep the context of their lives in mind as we respond to them. Who among us hasn't had the experience of saying something that sounded just in the moment, but when the context was revealed we regretted that choice of words.
In other words, don't be looking to win. Come into each interaction looking for a way to be gracious. For every clever answer you would like to give, ask at least one question about what is going on in their lives. Do it genuinely. This isn't excusing the other's sin but it is an attempt to be sure you don't sin in return.
II) Don't be surprised by sin.
In other words, too often the response to someone's sin is "I can't believe they would say that." It isn't cynicism to say, "Actually, yes I can." People are sinners, and none of us is above any sin. This is what we believe about the gospel! We are all sinners, so we shouldn't be surprised when sinners sin. The reason this point is helpful is it takes down the emotional temperature of the situation. Sin will pop up in various degrees. We should be prepared to forgive accordingly, knowing that your Father in heaven has forgiven you.
We do this best by remembering that we have been forgiven of our own sin, too.
III) Remember where this is going.
Peter opens all of these commands with the overarching reality that Christ is coming to return soon. This is a motivator to keep going. All things will be set right, including this insult you've just taken. Jesus is returning soon, do you want to potentially be found returning evil for evil? Jesus is going to set you to rule over cities, and you're getting bent out of shape because of Uncle Ernie's politics?
IV) Begin and end interactions with prayer
Peter at the beginning of this passage talks about self-control so that we can pray. One commentator noted the somewhat unexpected nature of this command. Usually we talk about having a clear head in order to make a defense, but here, it is used so that we might pray. His point was that if we let everything in the news cycle or even in our personal lives flood our thinking such that we lose sight of what Christ is doing, we will stop praying. Bad behavior is likely to follow (Jobes, 277-8). I was listening to a podcast just yesterday where the consistent pattern of ministers who fall are those who don't maintain a devotional life particularly a prayer life.
So to put this step by step, when you go to gather, especially if you feel that it could be contentious, don't spend time coming up with clever comebacks. Spend time in prayer beforehand, praising God for what He will do and has done and pleading with God for the grace you need next.
Arrive at dinner looking for opportunity to show grace, knowing you are dining with sinners who yet have the real opportunity to join you in bliss in the end!
And that's how you love people.
Now of course, none of that is possible without a relationship with Christ, love Himself. He was and is an example loving to the point of covering a multitude of sins for all of His elect.
The same is true well beyond the Thanksgiving table. If the elections don't turn out this week, our main goal is still the above words. We are to pray and love one another. This isn't trying to be simplistic, it is a north star to keep us focused on what really matters.